Black Squid Movie Reviews

My Personal Movie Blog
All Reviews Are My Opinion And Will Contain Spoilers

Wrong Turn Meets Hills Have Eyes Set in Russia: 

Chernobyl Diaries 5-25-2012


Not the most original movie concept but I am a sucker for horror no matter how unoriginal it is. The main reason I will see it just to know whats after them. I’m sure its just radioactive Russians but I’m hoping for Hills Have Eyes type mutants.

10 Years Later, Men In Black Try To Redeem the Embarrassment of MIB2:

Men In Black 3 5-25-2012


This can go either way. MIB was fresh, funny, and original. 5 years later must have been too long to recapture the magic with an embarrassing MIB2. Maybe the time travel plot, a spot on impression of Tommy Lee Jones, and Jermaine Clement are enough to freshen up this stale franchise. 

Avengers 4.5 out of 5    Marvel has had trouble in there past. They had improperly sold the rights to spider-man creating bureaucratic gridlock for years. They filed for bankruptcy. And had a slew bad movie adaptations. Then things started to work. Blade showed you can adapt a comic book, unfaithfully, and make a fun movie and the most recognised vampire slayer since van helsing. X-Men showed that you can adapt not just a superhero into a movie, but an entire team of fleshed out characters with fantastical abilities. Even though the scope was so broad and they played with continuity, X-Men was a movie that should’ve fallen under the weight of it’s concept. Since then, year after year we have been treated to some truly awe inspiring stories, vibrant characters, and action that would have been impossible 20 years ago. We also have to wade through the muck of movies just cashing in on the popularity of the time. You have to take the good with the bad. For every Batman you have Batman and Robin. For every Superman you have Steel. Etc, etc. With all their other major names sold off, Spider-Man, Fantastic Four, X-Men, all they had left were their 2nd tier characters. Sure everyone has heard the name Captain America or Thor but they didn’t know much about them. The Hulk is probably the most well known since he has had the movie treatment before and the popular 70s TV show, but it wasn’t much to start a franchise with. So instead of giving us the next X-Men, having a large cast of larger than life characters, they gave us 3 individual movies to flesh out each of the main protagonists (I’m not including Incredible Hulk because it feels far removed and unnecessary to the understanding of Avengers) so by the time an Avengers movie could be released, you would know all about them and could focus on the task at hand and not worry about all that back-story nonsense. This could have been a disaster. Maybe one movie could be good but what if the others fail? Now you have major movie with characters people don’t care about. But it wasn’t the case. Sure they all range in quality but no one can say that Iron Man, Thor, and Captain America are BAD movies. They all work in their own ways and set up each character and world beautifully, even if they all do share the same world. So after 4 years of set up, a couple post credit teasers, and tons of Internet speculation, Avengers is finally here, and I can say in all honesty, it is the best one out of the bunch. It leaps from its predecessors as if their own movies never ended and continues to run at full gallop the entire time. At two and a half hours, the nonstop excitement hurdles you through at such a pace, you never tire or ask for it to hurry up. Even with a major knock around brawl at the end, it doesn’t feel like an endurance test, unlike the noisy and cluttered Transformers 3. With everything that could have made this movie worse, I can’t think of anything they could have done to make it better. Everyone gets their moment to shine, not only in the eye popping action but in the drama and comedy department too. Everything everyone says has a purpose, there isn’t a lot of filler dialoge, and when they all get in the same room, you can really feel the tension between these ego maniacs. They all have their own voice and something to say. Tony Stark is the go to comedian but everyone gets at least one line of laugh out loud dialog. There are comedies that come out where I don’t laugh as much as I did at Avengers. There hasn’t been a movie in a long time where I had so much fun.  If I were to complain about anything, there is one moment where Black Widow is zooming around on a flying bike and it just comes off as cheesy. But one 15 second scene doesn’t tarnish the amazing feat that is making one of the most ambitious movies in years. Avengers 4.5 out of 5

Avengers 4.5 out of 5
 
 Marvel has had trouble in there past. They had improperly sold the rights to spider-man creating bureaucratic gridlock for years. They filed for bankruptcy. And had a slew bad movie adaptations. Then things started to work. Blade showed you can adapt a comic book, unfaithfully, and make a fun movie and the most recognised vampire slayer since van helsing. X-Men showed that you can adapt not just a superhero into a movie, but an entire team of fleshed out characters with fantastical abilities. Even though the scope was so broad and they played with continuity, X-Men was a movie that should’ve fallen under the weight of it’s concept.
Since then, year after year we have been treated to some truly awe inspiring stories, vibrant characters, and action that would have been impossible 20 years ago. We also have to wade through the muck of movies just cashing in on the popularity of the time.
You have to take the good with the bad. For every Batman you have Batman and Robin. For every Superman you have Steel. Etc, etc.
With all their other major names sold off, Spider-Man, Fantastic Four, X-Men, all they had left were their 2nd tier characters. Sure everyone has heard the name Captain America or Thor but they didn’t know much about them. The Hulk is probably the most well known since he has had the movie treatment before and the popular 70s TV show, but it wasn’t much to start a franchise with. So instead of giving us the next X-Men, having a large cast of larger than life characters, they gave us 3 individual movies to flesh out each of the main protagonists (I’m not including Incredible Hulk because it feels far removed and unnecessary to the understanding of Avengers) so by the time an Avengers movie could be released, you would know all about them and could focus on the task at hand and not worry about all that back-story nonsense. This could have been a disaster. Maybe one movie could be good but what if the others fail? Now you have major movie with characters people don’t care about. But it wasn’t the case. Sure they all range in quality but no one can say that Iron Man, Thor, and Captain America are BAD movies. They all work in their own ways and set up each character and world beautifully, even if they all do share the same world.
So after 4 years of set up, a couple post credit teasers, and tons of Internet speculation, Avengers is finally here, and I can say in all honesty, it is the best one out of the bunch. It leaps from its predecessors as if their own movies never ended and continues to run at full gallop the entire time. At two and a half hours, the nonstop excitement hurdles you through at such a pace, you never tire or ask for it to hurry up. Even with a major knock around brawl at the end, it doesn’t feel like an endurance test, unlike the noisy and cluttered Transformers 3.
With everything that could have made this movie worse, I can’t think of anything they could have done to make it better. Everyone gets their moment to shine, not only in the eye popping action but in the drama and comedy department too. Everything everyone says has a purpose, there isn’t a lot of filler dialoge, and when they all get in the same room, you can really feel the tension between these ego maniacs. They all have their own voice and something to say. Tony Stark is the go to comedian but everyone gets at least one line of laugh out loud dialog. There are comedies that come out where I don’t laugh as much as I did at Avengers. There hasn’t been a movie in a long time where I had so much fun. 
If I were to complain about anything, there is one moment where Black Widow is zooming around on a flying bike and it just comes off as cheesy. But one 15 second scene doesn’t tarnish the amazing feat that is making one of the most ambitious movies in years.
Avengers 4.5 out of 5

Film Debuts of Today’s Greatest Stars

This is part two, you can see part one and three here and here. 

G.I. Joe Retaliation Pushed Back To March 2013…For 3D Conversion I understand that movies are made so people can make money. Most movies are not made for the art or the story telling, they are made to make money, to finance other movies so those can make money and so on. But to push back a movie, which has only a month until release, for 9 extra months just to convert it to an inferior format just because it does better overseas seems like a cash grab. Did they not have enough faith in the material? Was it that much worse than the original, even though it is a guilty pleasure of mine? Did the original burn the fans so bad that they felt they needed to make up for the box office loss? I’m not saying we need to boycott the whole thing, but I would suggest you DO NOT PAY FOR 3D. Show the studios that 3D is not the future and show that this stunt was a waste of time and money.

G.I. Joe Retaliation Pushed Back To March 2013…For 3D Conversion


I understand that movies are made so people can make money. Most movies are not made for the art or the story telling, they are made to make money, to finance other movies so those can make money and so on. But to push back a movie, which has only a month until release, for 9 extra months just to convert it to an inferior format just because it does better overseas seems like a cash grab. Did they not have enough faith in the material? Was it that much worse than the original, even though it is a guilty pleasure of mine? Did the original burn the fans so bad that they felt they needed to make up for the box office loss? I’m not saying we need to boycott the whole thing, but I would suggest you DO NOT PAY FOR 3D. Show the studios that 3D is not the future and show that this stunt was a waste of time and money.


Iron Giant Fan Art An amazing piece of fan are for an amazing movie.

Iron Giant Fan Art


An amazing piece of fan are for an amazing movie.

Illusion! Pretty Celebrities Made Ugly, No Photoshop Required.


Damn brain, you crazy.

Movies Based on Board Games by EW.com

Monopoly and Candy Land are in the works, Entertainment Weekly imagines some other awful ideas.

(Source: entertainmentweekly)

Honest Movie Trailers: Transformers

Michael Bay Style Explosion Porn:

Battleship 5-18-2012

When this was green lit, I couldn’t see how they could make a movie based on a board game that wasn’t much so much a strategy game but a guessing game. Well they found a way, make up whatever you want. By making it an alien invasion movie they were able to focus on destruction and ignore any plot. I guess making it just a war movie doesn’t put butts in the theater. With Candy Land getting the go ahead, this has opened the door to so many more potential board game movies.

I’m hoping to see Cooties, like Outbreak but with bug monsters, Guess Who, a police procedural murder investigation, and Don’t Wake Daddy, a man abuses his children and they must sneak food at night to survive, possible a vampire movie because why not.  

Another Self Help Book With A Large Cast Gets Made Into A Movie:

What To Expect When You’re Expecting 5-18-2012


If you know me personally, you know I do not like kids and I really do not like pregnancy. Ever since I was traumatized by Alien, the thought of something growing inside you creeps me out. So I will not be watching WtEWYE. I don’t know what the plot is besides pregnant women are pregnant but the ads I see are mostly targeted to men as a cool hip guys take on pregnancy, but I bet they are a minor part to the overall story. I guess when you come out on the same day as Battleship, getting that male demographic could be hard.

Today’s Most Committed Actor Besides Daniel Day Lewis Has A New Movie Out:

The Dictator 5-16-2012


You got to give Sacha Baron Cohen credit. He knows how to take risks and commit to a character. But his latest outing, The Dictator, isn’t like his other movies. Before he would embrace his character and interact with real world people. Here, it is for the most part a straight forward movie with other actors but with a few scenes of improv to connect scenes. I guess it’s harder to convince people you are a foreign dignitary than it is to make people you are just some idiot from another country. I think this will not be as profitable as Borat but more entertaining than Bruno.

10 Box Office Fuck Yous by Pajiba.com Some movies just don’t seem like they will pay off. Here is 10 movies that exceeded expectations.

10 Box Office Fuck Yous by Pajiba.com


Some movies just don’t seem like they will pay off. Here is 10 movies that exceeded expectations.